Being responsible means being able to bear the consequences of their decisions, their actions, words and reactions. I specifically say "their", not the decisions, actions, words and reactions of other people! This means that we are not responsible for external events that directly affect us, for example, what others do or say to us. Maybe we should not be responsible for car accident or a fire in our house, but we are definitely responsible for his reaction to these events! That's the difference. Our reaction to an event entails a series of actions - they can be very different depending on what kind of reaction we have shown. Everything that happens to us, is done in order to help us take responsibility for their own lives, that is responsible for the consequences of every choice we made.
How to be himself, while not disturbing others?
The next time when you have such doubts, ask yourself: "Do I really hurt this person or I think I offended him?" Often we feel responsible for emotion or hurt someone else, even without checking whether the offense was applied. However, even if it was the intention to do something bad, who can say that the other one was really hurt? Sometimes we hurt people, unwittingly, as it also happens that we want him to hurt, but we can not do that. It is impossible to be confident in the reactions of others to our actions. It is important to be sincere, be yourself. Suppose you want someone to say something. If, based on its past experience, do you think that by staying honest, you are risking to injure the person, then I advise you: before you say anything, start the conversation this way: "I want something to tell you but I'm afraid to hurt you. I assure you that I have no such intention. I need to tell you about this, because I prefer to be honest with you. "
I am very spontaneous person. I work in a team and often express my opinion. I think it is important to be sincere. Then I learned that some felt that I was attacking them. Moreover, my boss asked me to be more cautious in their statements. How do I behave?
When several people work together, we must find a middle ground. Of course, the perfect person to be spontaneous, but it should not lose the measure. If you can not think before speaking, it is important to notify the team, saying, for example, the following sentence: "I want to warn you that I am a very spontaneous person, and may speak very quickly." It's just a matter of human compassion. When we know beforehand that can cause pain, you need to ask ourselves whether that be what we both want to say. I have already said that we must be sincere. This does not mean that we should say it. Just when we need to talk to someone, our words must be sincere. If people have the impression that you are attacking them, and this happens regularly, it might be really in your behavior is an element of the attack. Ask them to tell you about it as how they see it, so that you can immediately check whether you had the intention to offend anyone. Knowing that there is no smoke without fire, without haste, check your motivation. This does not mean that you must suppress their spontaneity. It can be very useful in some cases, but others preferred to think before they express their thoughts. You are not responsible for the emotions of other people, but I still recommend you to be more cautious and learn to curb their spontaneity.
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