Please recall the definition of love: "Love - means accepting, even if you do something you do not understand or something does not agree."
There is no child who would fully agree with how parents express their love for him, because every human being is unique. All children, regardless of cultural environment and social situation, would prefer to be loved differently. Every parent's own way of existence and its lessons, which he must pass.
We must accept that our parents have evolved and continue to evolve today. Collect everything that bothers you (how are your parents fulfill their role), and let go!
Understanding that there is love is stronger than possessive love, emerged relatively recently. Previously, parents do not have such information, and their love could be determined only by the fact that they knew. People in our culture does not recognize or understand the existence of internal capacity.
Happiness is dependent on those around them, so they became the responsibility one way or another to control the behavior of others. How could your parents teach you to love, if they do not know how!.
If you gather everything you'd like to change in their parents, and will continue to remember all the conflicts and all accusations against them, then over the years to discover that connects you to the thread grew and became very thick.
When you begin to realize that, no matter how they express their love, they loved you as best we could, that their every act, their every word was love, you begin slowly, fiber for fiber, cut this thread until your heart does not overflow with love for him.
You will look at parents with different eyes and in my heart you'll know how much they'll really love.
Who would you have kept any offense, it continues to have on your influence and creating bonds that makes you a prisoner. These bonds give rise to dissatisfaction, which influences everything that happens in your life. Are you depressed inside. What you know now, can you get rid of this depression - let the pain and hurt that you carry with you, and you'll find an unprecedented freedom. Liberate your heart to love and be loved, and you never going to look back!
To cut those ties, not necessarily understand the parents. Seeks to understand your mind and your heart does not need to understand, it takes them like to eat. You only need to feel the love that this man felt for you at that time. These feelings known to your heart, not head. Stop thinking. Make contact with their feelings. Attempts to forgive these people will inevitably lead to the following ideas (or similar):
"I know, their life was not easy - a big family, poverty. My mother had to endure many difficulties ... and so forth. Forget all that! Soak them with love, feel it - and his love for them. Try to feel their fears, their weaknesses and constraints to their limits. Initially, this may frighten you, because you'll be forced to give way to emotions. You can revive the love that buried many years ago.
Most of us are afraid to take people such as they are. In our opinion, this is tantamount to saying: "I agree with you." But in fact you say something quite different: "I love and respect you enough to accept that in this case, you're doing the best of what you can do. Even if this is not the way of action, which I prefer.
You can survive the ties you with your primary school teachers. Maybe you even began to resemble someone out of them. Try to understand what may trouble you in this regard.
Small children are very impressionable and reactive - they take everything they say as infallible truth. "Read between the lines, talking to people, they have yet to learn. As a result, they are so frightened by the prospect begins to look like the others, so they absorb these thoughts, that they begin to neglect their own development.
Inside each of you live a unique creature who loudly demands to open it! Do you hear how your soul cries out for you? You - the only one who can rescue her from the chains and remove from isolation. Your soul needs to develop, the ability to breathe and get the space for their growth!
Misled by the opinions of others we are not even aware of it the report are becoming more and more like them. Even if you do not recognize their authority over them, it still has a direct impact on you.
Nurturing a dissatisfaction with the authorities, you increasest own authoritarian or begin to control their own behavior. Without even realizing it, you decide that in order to survive, you must try to control everything that happens around you. And becomes the captive of the decision.
If you continue to restrain their anger increases your ego. Do you think that you were treated unfairly. You always nosishsya with this idea, paying an exorbitant price? This is your constant "willingness to fight" will cost you dearly, in whatever relationship you may be entered.
It will be a constant threat to your happiness and health, and therefore your body and the superconscious will persistently send messages, reminding you that you are going against the universal law of love. There is only one way out - sorry!
The first thing you should do - forgive yourself for what you are condemning a given person. Then forgive this man, whatever, in your opinion, nor was his fault. (To do this, imagine yourself in his skin and try to understand why this man did what he did.) Doing so, you automatically forgive others.
And most importantly, meet and talk with this person. Openly shared their feelings (in this case does not necessarily go into the fine details). Ask him to forgive you for what you were blind and not see his love, and explain to him that led you to such a strong rejection.
If this person is no longer alive, sit in a quiet place and try to relax every part of his body. When you feel that you do it, imagine that you're sitting next to the dead. Talk to him - tell him what you feel, and ask his forgiveness. Even if physically he is not with you, his spirit is here. This lesson may seem to you too emotional, but it provides a wonderful cleansing action. Do not be afraid to open up and in touch with their feelings.
Nurturing grudges against another person, you do captives both of you, because your feelings you associate. Formed thread draws spiritual energy from both, that leads to mental and emotional exhaustion.
Exempt from these feelings, you auto mat cally frees another man, returning him to his own space and energy, which allows you to grow and develop both of you. After freeing him from the shackles of their feelings, you'll help him to continue to grow, even if it is no longer alive.
If you're waiting on another person, that he would feel guilty before you, you do not cut the thread. If you hope to hear: "Poor thing! I never thought I could cause you such pain! "- This is not the voice of your heart.
You expect that the other will take responsibility for your emotions - though it made you think of his love for you is for him is not the main thing. No one can make you feel anger or sadness. That you decided to become angry, or sad.
Observe how you feel, talking to other people. You express their feelings, to learn to love their companions, or so that they can you understand? Try to just share their feelings. Understand whether you agree it with you - not so important. You're doing this to get free, just for myself.
If you oscillations arise regarding their actions for fear of causing anyone harm or to be misunderstood and ridiculed, it is a sign that your ego takes over ... and after the very first step you have to retreat. You keep on wallowing in their suffering and stagnate. Fear makes you free.
If you're the oldest child in the family, you can have more connections with their parents than other children. The first child always has the smallest space, because most parents expect their first child. After the appearance of the second and third child, they become large realistic. As a result, older child has to deal with their expectations and requirements that may not please him and he can not justify.
Quite often it turns out that one of the parents would prefer to have a child of the opposite sex. This is explained by the fact that he was not satisfied with his life and fears for the child life would be a grave burden. Upon learning of this preference of his mother or father, you can feel rejected. But do not give rein to this feeling. Their desire does not affect on you. They just want to see your life is better than theirs.
Be firm. Every time focused on one situation and breaks off one thread - and gradually you'll be free. Do not try to do everything at once, as the acquisition of practice each thread will yield easier and easier.
One of the common for all the very important issues is the attitude to money. For the parents of most of our money was of paramount importance - they had to "save". Happiness is often dependent on the material side of life - the money has been synonymous with security.
Happiness was a direct consequence of financial strength, and parents wanted you to have money, because I wish you happiness. This is a manifestation of their love. If you are prone to certain extremes in matters of saving or spending money, you are likely to react to the attitude of their parents.
Universal Law of Love requires that children and parents loved each other. It could not be. Children and parents binds deep beautiful love - do not forget that your soul is consciously decided to go precisely to these parents.
So, you know, what should they learn, understand that the more difficult it will be a lesson, the more it will benefit. Hugging each of the threads connecting you to remember this and try to understand all your heart, how much, in spite of everything, your parents loved you really are. You have chosen each other, not without reason.
When you manage to break ties, you will learn to love and respect their parents for what they are and what they were. You will be able to forgive them and ask them for forgiveness ... you feel bliss and unprecedented inner peace. Heavy loads will be dropped from his shoulders, and you will feel easy and free as a bird.
Be very attentive to your offense does not evolve into hate. Energy, nurtured by hatred, the most destructive and poisonous of all energies, whereas the energy of love always heals. Living with hatred in your heart, you change their bodies at the chemical level, triggering the mechanism of serious and painful illnesses. Hatred destroys, in whom it settled.
Laboratory studies have shown that breath-hating man, if to send it to the rat, can instantly kill the animal. Each and every thought, full of hatred could be compared to swallow poison. Established hate thread so strong that in order to cut her, has put a much greater effort. This is explained by the fact that hating people more removed from its center of love.
Exercises
1. Take a sheet of paper and write down everything as you remember, bothered you in your parents when you were a child (from birth to 18 years).
2. List everything that bothers you in other people, who have provided for your influence in the same period of your life.
3. Choose one of these situations and try to take responsibility for the role you played in it. Using the same situation, try to see are rooted in her love. After that to meet this man and try to express to him how you feel. Forgive him and ask him to forgive you.
4. This is important: It is essential that you have completed these exercises before you go over to the next chapter. You might find that will float a variety of emotions. Do not be afraid - you open the door, which will release you to freedom.
5. How can often repeat the following affirmation:
I forgive all those who are condemned, and dismissed from the bonds, which hindered me to live in harmony with itself. My love is more and more comes from the heart.
6. If there is someone to whom feel the love is particularly difficult, the following affirmations will help you open your heart.
I completely forgive (someone - a person's name, that - a situation or attitude in question) and wish him / her nothing but good, and so I forgive myself and my attitude to this situation - because he grew that the condemned
Lise Bourbeau
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