Do not blame her for his life - Take responsibility for yourself
Several years ago, my friend, classmate learned that ill with cancer. She asked me to send her tapes of my lectures "The magic of health" and the article, which I dedicated psychology of cancer patients. I fulfilled her request and also wrote her a long letter, highlighting a few aspects of which she should, to reflect. I acted in accordance with their knowledge, because it was familiar with her life and the causes for which she could develop cancer.
This letter is very upset her. My friend was offended, saying that I blame her that she is sick, though I assure you that all exclusively her fault, but it now without my remorse is very bad. Then she broke off all relations with me. I felt devastated, I even felt bad from what I've done it only worse. But still, I was also puzzled. After all, girlfriend knew perfectly well my theory, and, moreover, it was agreed and wanted to learn more.
I soon realized that he was embroiled in a "drama triangle" in which one person (the victim) requests for assistance, it offers another (the savior / martyr), and then the victim is switched to the role of prosecutor, doing everything possible to savior felt wrong . This is a very popular tactic games to shame-accusation.
Without a word, it is clear that the girlfriend provoked her illness, and she chose me to be the "scapegoat". For this to happen, I first had to play the role of martyr. And so it happened. At the very same week, I already have been overloaded with requests from various (and this is a sure sign of martyrdom), but, nevertheless, was able to carve out their free time to write a long letter to her friend. It was, rather, a sense of duty rather than from a pure heart and love, so there was a backlash.
This episode is very well demonstrated to me one of the pitfalls of metaphysics, which is particularly easy to come across newcomers. The concept of "taking one hundred percent responsibility for your life" could be misinterpreted and turned into something else: "to take the blame." The former leads to an increase in your strength and energy, the second, on the contrary, weakens you and has no relation to mysticism.
The idea to assume full responsibility for their lives is what it is. If you feel a "poor victim" due to the fact that someone has behaved improperly, or simply bad luck, or your trouble comes from genetic inheritance, or because of illness, or because of wrong policies of the Government, it is means that you get stuck on the way, you are immobilized and can not change the situation.
If you believe in what they themselves are creating your reality (whatever happened), in this case, you will have a number of possibilities. Since you have created the situation, then you are able to "return" it back or create something else! Is not it delightful? Moreover, you have created this situation for some reason, so you can sort out what she was supposed to teach you. You can also find out exactly how you created it, in the future not to repeat anything like it. You can learn and grow spiritually, having this experience. But the most remarkable thing is that you can somehow influence the situation, rather than sit back and meekly accept it.
If you start to blame yourself for what happened, you again get stuck on the ground, saying to himself: "What a fool I am, that created this! No, you just look at this! "This means that you are doing self-torture, or criticize their domestic or Son has long been mired in guilt. From this you start to feel hurt, upset or even disturbed. All this creates an internal conflict, and you become increasingly difficult to deal with what is happening, and find the right solution.
As soon as you have noticed that they began a somewhat to blame, stop immediately. Tell yourself: "Hey, wait a minute! I blame myself at the same time when I should be in relation to a particular kind, gentle and attentive. I myself have created this situation, and it was terrible. But now I'm going over her work, and fix it. "
If you take full responsibility for their lives (no matter what happens) - it will always help you. Take also the blame may in no case be!
/ D. Edwards /
Posts
