Give and receive love

Give and receive love

The mystics have always said that love begins and ends with our "I" and that we can not love others, if not first love yourself. As I understand it personally, Jesus taught us: "Love yourself so that you can love others" (I think that the translation was a little distorted, and the famous phrase "Love thy neighbor as thyself," has a slightly different emphasis.) Many people believe that they can love themselves only if they first fall in love with someone else. But while we are not going to the source of love, we can not attract the love of another person.

Until we love ourselves, we are restless and closed. We try to avoid companies or, conversely, too much trying to please someone, we feel ourselves to be dependent and unhappy. In some cases we take on the role unnecessary. All this only alienates us from others. We can fool ourselves by saying that we have so few friends, for the reason that we live in a town (village), we are poor (or rich), or because we are modest, or that we are simply better to live alone. The truth is that we see ourselves as not good enough, and others - dangerous. Some of our presence, uncomfortable, while others are constantly tense and so on. Therefore we can not start a no friendship relations.

Love of self gives us the opportunity to become vulnerable, to forget about the defense, to show their identity, because we know that we have nothing to hide and there is no need to pretend. When we love ourselves and see ourselves for what we are, we become more loving and capable of giving, receiving pleasure from the company of others. They're in our community feel relaxed and know that they are safe and meet us in the same, that is, become more open and honest. Thus, we most naturally develop good relations of friendship and love.

Love for yourself also means that we give our love freely without expecting anything in return. This can be expressed in the immediate embrace, an unexpected bouquet of flowers, a warm smile, addressed to a stranger, in a note with kind words, hidden along with the school breakfast sandwiches, a proposal to help the needy other, in cash or check Charitable Society in the simple words "I love you. "

Lack of self-love leads to the fact that some people can give a lot, but did not receive in return. (This category includes those people for whom helping others is a profession.) Until we are open to receive, we can slip off the path of self-pity or martyrdom. Martyrdom often comes from the belief that the struggles and sufferings ever bear fruit. But this is added and the belief that we do not deserve happiness, or have to fight to win the love. "You do not worry about me, and themselves go and have fun!", "No, this gift from you I can not accept," "I have so much in time, and very little time," "If I could afford to rest at least five minutes! "(Do you hear those familiar sigh of a martyr?).

If we are open to receive (thanks for the compliment with appreciation gifts, appreciate the magical moments of everyday life, is not averse to cuddle with a friend and was happy to accept support), it means that we avoid the pitfalls of martyrdom. Martyr, who is within us, it's angry, he needs other people to hesitate or feel guilty (often it is not even aware of it), so it unpleasant to be in a friendly environment. By the way, the martyrs are rarely relaxed and almost always having a hard time.

If we try to give my love, but are not open to receive it, our love takes shape and becomes distorted unhealthy and unnatural. This martyrdom and sacrifice, duty, obligation, infatuation or obsession. We ourselves have blocked the free flow of love. True love is always beautiful. From her sing our hearts and our spirit soars. It nourishes our soul. But all this was happening, love must flow freely - in both directions.