Liz Burba
Emotional self-expression
Negative emotions suck your energy, reducing vibration energy field. Positive emotions enhance this field due to positive relations with other fields, and their combined action. That's why love heals and hatred destroys - and force of impact depends on the strength of feeling.
What does it mean to "express" emotion? Many participants in my workshops come up to me and asked: "I have a many years. I always say that I should express my emotions, but no one said how to do it. I must cry, cry, hit the dishes? What should I do? "I have developed a method to help you express your emotions without causing any harm to people or things that surround you. This method is simple and effective. Realize you can not cope with any emotion, if not you manage to express it.
The same external stimulus continues to be you, until you stop to react to it. Take, for example, the spouse who constantly humiliates his wife in front of the whole family. Its something does not suit, but instead immediately tell her about it, he waited for the whole family will be assembled. Internally, she is angry, not understanding why they can not discuss the matter privately. It will continue to feel anger, while she will not understand this. How much emotional situations, ranging from early childhood, occurred in your life over and over again just because you were not ready to properly express yourself? Emotions are suppressed, and you to calm down, acted like most people: something eaten or drank in order to achieve emotional comfort, take something soothing, trying to escape, sat down in front of the TV (it was in a movie, go to sleep or read a book) taking a warm bath to relax, etc.
When you feeling angry, pretending that nothing is happening, it does not make you good. Some sit and think, waiting for "the right moment to clarify the situation," while others smoke or drink, cry and leave the dining room at work, start to do housework or crafts, or simply refuse to talk. All this helps to distract or ignore your feelings. There are people who prefer to do some brutal sport, or start directly or indirectly, to express their anger toward another person. Pretend that this is you do not care - the biggest mistake.
Another common reaction - "dump" all for some third party. For example, a man after an unsuccessful day at work back home and all of the problems blamed on his wife. It is unlikely that it will benefit their relationship! My husband is waiting for his wife's approval and recognition of their "rightness", seeking solace and comfort. After that, he feels satisfaction and say, "Oh, I spoke with you, and I immediately felt better! You'll always find the right words! "But is the problem solved?
My wife just let her husband take her energy. Will take months and years, and she will feel more and more desolate, until, finally, their relationship did not come to an end. My husband will feel less satisfied, because the wife will give him less and less of its energy. Something similar often happens between two friends. "Dump" receives only a temporary support, and the next day will need a new "dose." The one on whom the "dumping" does not receive anything, because he always lets the other to eat it with energy.
The solution is simple. If the "dump" on you, patiently listen and then say, 'What are you going to do to solve this problem? "The answer, most likely, would be:" What can I do? It's their fault - I can not help it. " After that, gently explain to the person that you are no longer interesting to listen to his problems, because they, obviously, he draws strength and delight.
Your companion is fixed on our problems, constantly focusing attention on them and reinforcing them. Do not let him put your energy into his problems. He may be shocked to accuse you of injustice, negligence, and sharpness - but the shock may cause him to realize that your words contain truth. If you needed him only as "emotional dump," he will find someone else. You are at the same time do not lose anything, quite the contrary - once you get your energy in full. Discuss their problems with the sole purpose of feeling better after this is called "dumping."
Share the same something, even unpleasant, to find a solution or to change the situation, it is very useful. "Sharing" with another person, you do not expect it from him and not to shift the responsibility on him. Here is what is important for spouses - to learn in a friendly way to share positive and negative experiences.
/ To be continued /
Emotional self-expression
Negative emotions suck your energy, reducing vibration energy field. Positive emotions enhance this field due to positive relations with other fields, and their combined action. That's why love heals and hatred destroys - and force of impact depends on the strength of feeling.
What does it mean to "express" emotion? Many participants in my workshops come up to me and asked: "I have a many years. I always say that I should express my emotions, but no one said how to do it. I must cry, cry, hit the dishes? What should I do? "I have developed a method to help you express your emotions without causing any harm to people or things that surround you. This method is simple and effective. Realize you can not cope with any emotion, if not you manage to express it.
The same external stimulus continues to be you, until you stop to react to it. Take, for example, the spouse who constantly humiliates his wife in front of the whole family. Its something does not suit, but instead immediately tell her about it, he waited for the whole family will be assembled. Internally, she is angry, not understanding why they can not discuss the matter privately. It will continue to feel anger, while she will not understand this. How much emotional situations, ranging from early childhood, occurred in your life over and over again just because you were not ready to properly express yourself? Emotions are suppressed, and you to calm down, acted like most people: something eaten or drank in order to achieve emotional comfort, take something soothing, trying to escape, sat down in front of the TV (it was in a movie, go to sleep or read a book) taking a warm bath to relax, etc.
When you feeling angry, pretending that nothing is happening, it does not make you good. Some sit and think, waiting for "the right moment to clarify the situation," while others smoke or drink, cry and leave the dining room at work, start to do housework or crafts, or simply refuse to talk. All this helps to distract or ignore your feelings. There are people who prefer to do some brutal sport, or start directly or indirectly, to express their anger toward another person. Pretend that this is you do not care - the biggest mistake.
Another common reaction - "dump" all for some third party. For example, a man after an unsuccessful day at work back home and all of the problems blamed on his wife. It is unlikely that it will benefit their relationship! My husband is waiting for his wife's approval and recognition of their "rightness", seeking solace and comfort. After that, he feels satisfaction and say, "Oh, I spoke with you, and I immediately felt better! You'll always find the right words! "But is the problem solved?
My wife just let her husband take her energy. Will take months and years, and she will feel more and more desolate, until, finally, their relationship did not come to an end. My husband will feel less satisfied, because the wife will give him less and less of its energy. Something similar often happens between two friends. "Dump" receives only a temporary support, and the next day will need a new "dose." The one on whom the "dumping" does not receive anything, because he always lets the other to eat it with energy.
The solution is simple. If the "dump" on you, patiently listen and then say, 'What are you going to do to solve this problem? "The answer, most likely, would be:" What can I do? It's their fault - I can not help it. " After that, gently explain to the person that you are no longer interesting to listen to his problems, because they, obviously, he draws strength and delight.
Your companion is fixed on our problems, constantly focusing attention on them and reinforcing them. Do not let him put your energy into his problems. He may be shocked to accuse you of injustice, negligence, and sharpness - but the shock may cause him to realize that your words contain truth. If you needed him only as "emotional dump," he will find someone else. You are at the same time do not lose anything, quite the contrary - once you get your energy in full. Discuss their problems with the sole purpose of feeling better after this is called "dumping."
Share the same something, even unpleasant, to find a solution or to change the situation, it is very useful. "Sharing" with another person, you do not expect it from him and not to shift the responsibility on him. Here is what is important for spouses - to learn in a friendly way to share positive and negative experiences.
/ To be continued /
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