Think of conflict as a source of spiritual growth
When two people come together as friends, colleagues or lovers, they initially try to behave as best as possible, avoiding conflicts, agreeing with the opinion of the interlocutor, often pretending to look closer to your partner than it actually is. Eventually, when they begin to relax and feel more confident together, their differences are gradually moving to the surface. Now these people may seem less consistent than in the beginning. For those who lack self-confidence, the situation may seem threatening, and in this case the person tries to hide or something to smooth out differences between themselves and a partner. But sooner or later the deep "I" still forces them to do or say something that will lead to a conflict or disagreement.
Conflict can be a great source of spiritual growth and change. It is also necessary in life, as "grain to the mill." (When I hear about a spouse who "never had an argument for the past 20 years," I think about that, and whether they are spiritually grew just a little for all this time!) Find out how we're different, we find a lot about who we are. At this time, deepen our relationship as we become more honest with each other. We also learn to care about their needs and manage their emotions.
To resolve the conflict, you do not agree to be a compromise. (The compromise does not mean quite frank consent, which is not one hundred percent happy with either party.) Coping means finding a win-win option, which fully satisfies you both.
Sometimes this means that you should discard the idea to change the other person and think about how to change yourself. You may need to change the style of life, or to reconsider their beliefs, or to respond to the old behavior in new ways. If the relationship is changed one person, the other is also necessarily translate. So if you expect your partner to change, change yourself, become stronger. This way you change and the relationship with your partner.
Another way to resolve the conflict - to focus on the positive side of situations. Instead of complaining to my friends who always wait for what you call first to be grateful to them for what they are always happy to hear your voice. We attract and attract what we think. Therefore, focusing on the positive, we can magically solve other problems.
It is very important to refrain from all kinds of accusations. It is not necessary to shame anyone. If you think that the blame for another, or that he should change, or that you are miserable because of it, you are at your resentment, anger and self-pity. Therefore, the problem is not only can not be resolved, it will further deepen. Similarly, if you admit guilt, your shame, doubt, guilt, or block the access to inner wisdom. If you both think that trying to resolve the conflict well, and that the blame for it, in fact, no one, to solve it is surprisingly easy.
Of course, the conflict is only one possible source of spiritual growth in their relationship. If you think its the only (or best) way to learn and grow, you will feel uncomfortable whenever your relationship will be resolved! We also continue to grow in intimacy and mutual understanding, fun and caring, cooperative and mutual dreams. But to eliminate any conflict easier if you approach it as a milestone of our growth, and not as a sign that we have "something went wrong." In any conflict, we must ask ourselves: "What an opportunity seems to me in this situation? What can I learn about myself? How can we cope with this problem? "
(Jill Edwards)
When two people come together as friends, colleagues or lovers, they initially try to behave as best as possible, avoiding conflicts, agreeing with the opinion of the interlocutor, often pretending to look closer to your partner than it actually is. Eventually, when they begin to relax and feel more confident together, their differences are gradually moving to the surface. Now these people may seem less consistent than in the beginning. For those who lack self-confidence, the situation may seem threatening, and in this case the person tries to hide or something to smooth out differences between themselves and a partner. But sooner or later the deep "I" still forces them to do or say something that will lead to a conflict or disagreement.
Conflict can be a great source of spiritual growth and change. It is also necessary in life, as "grain to the mill." (When I hear about a spouse who "never had an argument for the past 20 years," I think about that, and whether they are spiritually grew just a little for all this time!) Find out how we're different, we find a lot about who we are. At this time, deepen our relationship as we become more honest with each other. We also learn to care about their needs and manage their emotions.
To resolve the conflict, you do not agree to be a compromise. (The compromise does not mean quite frank consent, which is not one hundred percent happy with either party.) Coping means finding a win-win option, which fully satisfies you both.
Sometimes this means that you should discard the idea to change the other person and think about how to change yourself. You may need to change the style of life, or to reconsider their beliefs, or to respond to the old behavior in new ways. If the relationship is changed one person, the other is also necessarily translate. So if you expect your partner to change, change yourself, become stronger. This way you change and the relationship with your partner.
Another way to resolve the conflict - to focus on the positive side of situations. Instead of complaining to my friends who always wait for what you call first to be grateful to them for what they are always happy to hear your voice. We attract and attract what we think. Therefore, focusing on the positive, we can magically solve other problems.
It is very important to refrain from all kinds of accusations. It is not necessary to shame anyone. If you think that the blame for another, or that he should change, or that you are miserable because of it, you are at your resentment, anger and self-pity. Therefore, the problem is not only can not be resolved, it will further deepen. Similarly, if you admit guilt, your shame, doubt, guilt, or block the access to inner wisdom. If you both think that trying to resolve the conflict well, and that the blame for it, in fact, no one, to solve it is surprisingly easy.
Of course, the conflict is only one possible source of spiritual growth in their relationship. If you think its the only (or best) way to learn and grow, you will feel uncomfortable whenever your relationship will be resolved! We also continue to grow in intimacy and mutual understanding, fun and caring, cooperative and mutual dreams. But to eliminate any conflict easier if you approach it as a milestone of our growth, and not as a sign that we have "something went wrong." In any conflict, we must ask ourselves: "What an opportunity seems to me in this situation? What can I learn about myself? How can we cope with this problem? "
(Jill Edwards)
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