Psychology of Success.
True self-confidence is accumulated skill to be developed independently. Develop just as the ability to draw or write poetry or play chess.
Without the confidence of people can not feel complete and self-sufficient member of society. It is difficult to start a business, it is difficult to defend their thoughts and beliefs, even to loved ones. Unassured people make decisions while under the influence of other people, the circumstances are not only influenced by their own thoughts. Confidence can be developed even in a special way of training, special mental exercises.
Here tell me who that person without self-confidence? Yes no! At that it is capable of significant? What he can defend? What can I do? Nothing can. Zero ", he sticks with.
What is needed confidence man? In the future. In relations with other people. In the financial support. Of course, all this needed confidence. But nevertheless called can be reduced to the self-confidence.
I assume that initially everyone is confident in itself. But life, or rather society, making it uncertain, indecisive, weak and lifeless. Why do you think? Of course, you can manage it! Weak as it is easy to manage: garknul to him - and he ran to one side, garknul twice - ran to the other. Wonderful! Now this "stutterer" You can control how the soul will be like, no problem.
My psychological experience has led me to the conclusion that many people is precisely the problem - lack of confidence in itself. Emotional forms it can take a variety of - fear, anxiety, guilt ... Yes, all this makes us as people who are weaker, and this should soon get rid.
But how? There are special techniques and exercises. But the problem is complicated by the fact that the causes of human insecurity is difficult to explain theoretically. Thus, to get rid of that uncertainty is easier than to explain it. Self-doubt for every person has their own reasons. But the laws of ridding it a virtually universal.
What is the basis of uncertainty?
I suggest seriously ask this question in order to understand what is appropriate self-confidence. Let's imagine some situation of uncertainty. For example, you are responsible for the examination of a subject. Let for the simple experiment that would be the history of the fatherland. The teacher asks you a very reasonable question: "And in what year in the Russia Empire abolished serfdom?
The question, of course, the child, but nezadacha - you do not know an answer. Or rather, you remember that read about this in the textbook, or even remember, that drew attention to this landmark date. But, alas. Just remember you can not. Whether in 1861 or in 1863-m, or in 1871-m. In general, does not remember. You are uncertain.
Teacher gloomily swings his head, whispered something like: "Oh, too young, stupid ...", and Nagib on test book makes you fat" satisfactory. " Of course, you are saddened, disappointed and upset: "After all, read the same about it, and still nothing came out worthwhile!"
So, this example clearly shows that the confidence or uncertainty associated:
1. With the knowledge gained through previous experience;
2. With the expected consequences of using this knowledge.
The first conclusion is clear, but at the second stop in detail. Imagine another case. You play in a casino or slot machines. You know that if you delete the coin, the game board will be three pictures, which at a certain combination will bring you to win.
But why in this case, you are confident and calm, because the knowledge of what pictures you vypadut in response to a throw a coin, you do not even score any? Because waiting for the effects of throwing the coin, in one case and an examiner's answer to the question in a different case, different!
It is shaping our expectations and the state of confidence or insecurity.
If we did not care what grade would Examiner, then we would have chosen, what date of the abolition of serfdom name as easily and confidently, like throwing a coin in the slot machine, right?
Well, now let's imagine the typical cases of self-doubt - with the uncertainty of getting acquainted with other people; insecurity in romantic relationships, lack of confidence in the examination for admission to employment, etc.; uncertainty at the beginning of a new business or project, and so on.
In all these situations we are dealing with certain expectations, which "create" our sense of self-doubt. Expectations - this is the fruit of the mind. After all, what you can not just expect, and thus become completely self-doubt a man.
You may think that go into the street, as if you are not down on the head of a brick from the roof of his house! Therefore, it is better to sit at home. One can expect that to meet a nice person, but he will and obzovet fool you. Therefore, it is better not to be acquainted with strangers. You can borrow money, and you have a "bang" - and they will select the bandits. Therefore, it is better not to take. These are they insidious these expectations. So little choice: either to stop or do not expect to. And what else? Third it is not given.
The problem of self-confidence - this is the key issue of human life. Here is loud here, but I think that is close to the truth of the statement. Do you not agree with me? Think for yourself! If all the people were confident in themselves, many would have problems of personal and public life would be gone just as the spring snow.
See how to live self-assured, people! Their love, their respect, their views are listened to, they are calm and level-headed - in general, all of them wonderful. Is not life a fairy tale! Every day you see a self-confident people on television for information, analysis, entertainment, work, read about them in books and magazines.
And how many of them in the movies! And do not count. One - the hero, the other - a superstar, the third - just a super superstar. How do they believe in themselves as active, cheerful and very attractive to our eyes. Ah, well, as it does not envy such a brain!
Thoughts obbegaya various methods of developing confidence and causes of uncertainty, I discover that these methods and the reasons are many. So to deal with uncertainty about their own psychology pripasla solid arsenal of weapons. This means that in this war we can not lose, do not worry!
Uncertainties due to dependence on other people, their decisions and actions - this is the most common uncertainty. Indeed, dependency on others can be very unsettle.
Constant anxiety arises about the relationship with other people, may well deplete reserves of nervous force. Are thinking about me? Did you understand me? Will there agree? Whether I (as staff, in a family of pioneers)?
I want to describe to you a very simple but effective technique of gaining personal confidence. So, try to imagine. It takes ten minutes, but will bring a lot of practical benefits. Technique is called "Total Recall"
Relax (physically of course, if you can, and psychologically - cool). Now think of any situation where you have been incredibly self-confident when dealing with others. It does not matter who it was. It is important to your state.
In general, you were confident in themselves as well as the Terminator was convinced of the need to comply with an important job! Just do not say that such situations were not. I do not believe! Well, at least with any child you confidently say?
Attention! Now would be the most important thing ... Now, verbally, that is, words, tell them how you felt at that moment? How to look? How to keep? What are the movements and gestures do? How to say? They understood, is not it? Describe yourself this state aloud. Yes, it is so - and remember just described.
What? You want to say that feeling an idiot? And to me what is the difference, what are you feeling? Want to get a positive effect - please, do as I say! You need to describe themselves in the certainty condition. So, the algorithm is as follows:
1. Remember;
2. Notice changes to themselves (internal and external);
3. Describes (words!)
According to the participants after the exercise, as they say, grow wings and carry you to the edge of hardness and glorious self-confidence. Would you like to fly there? Incidentally, this is so simple - to change their mood and confidence? No? You do not agree with me? But why? Urgently contact me and explain why?
Tech "Total Recall" was only razminochnoy!
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