Information for thought:
Gallup conducted a special study of the population of developed Western countries on the stability of family relations. Disappointing findings affect his magnitude - 2 / 3 (two thirds!) People aged 35-55 years are divorced, living alone or for various reasons, are close to divorce!
"Our nation will soon come to the point that the main factor in the lives of adults will become unstable marital relations"
[Sociologist Norvel Glenn, commenting on the results of the study Gallup in the United States]
We live with you in an incredibly interesting, but a very crucial time. After all, we have a unique opportunity to observe not only the rapid changes in technical and technological fields, especially in the media, but also a global change in values and mindset of the people!
It seems almost incredible, but I can not do anything, I can only conclude that performed - the institution of the family, as was once the main unit of society, dilapidate before our eyes.
From the statistics of divorce eyes climb on his forehead!
You know that over the past forty years, the number of divorces in the world doubled!? You know that half of marriages in the developed western countries pumped today divorce? And in front of the entire planet, of course, the United States.
What happens to people? Why are romantic relationships quickly die as the spring snow in the sun? Why family dilapidate? Why people do not get on with each other?
My friends, I have not agreed - the family, once the basic unit of society is rapidly losing "popular". And you know that the most fun? This happens in most developed countries, namely, in the most materially successful families.
So if you are personally faced with the challenge of ending the gap or love relationship, you know - you do not just not alone ... Such as you will soon have a majority of the population!
But what happens the hell? And what can I do?
I will try to answer these questions.
There is nothing else like emancipation. Emancipation - The release from bondage, oppression, prejudice and all otzhivshego outdated, the removal of restrictions by the equation (Dictionary of Foreign Words)
Individualistic Western culture has their new values. And people are starting to change. Marriage, and a personal relationship, which in previous centuries of human history based on the knowledge and love of family "debt", "duty", "stability", rapidly lose this moral deterrent!
Today, people, intoxicated feeling of moral freedom does not stop at nothing to rush in the pool of new feelings and sensations that promise of new love, sex.
People are willing to do so, even ignoring past relationships, past family life, parenthood and so on.
Moral freedom really intoxicate, and people, feeling their own power (which is why this is happening in most developed countries, and families), fetches the old relationships and looking for new ones.
A new is always pleasant, always intriguing and tempting, right? For example, you are also aware, as a pleasure to buy a new phone or a car? While the urgent need for this can not be, but agree - the new is always a pleasure, hell!
The same happens with the new man, new relationships.
Actual quote:
Great Erich Fromm:
"The same can be said of marriage. Is it for love, or - according to the traditions of the past - to the existing practices, or a marriage of convenience? Really love each other husband and wife shall be submitted to the exception.
That is actually a calculation, a custom, common economic interests, the mutual affection of children, mutual dependence or mutual hostility or fear, perceived as "love" - until one or both partners do not recognize that they are not loved and never loved each other.
Today, in this regard can be seen some progress. People have become more realistic and sober look at life, and many no longer believe that experience to someone sexual interest - it means to love. Or what kind, though not particularly close relationship between friends is nothing but a manifestation of love.
This new way of looking at things contributed to the fact that people are honest, and that they were more likely to change partners. This does not necessarily mean that there is more love, new partner could just as little to love one another, as the old ones.
The transition from the "love" to the illusion of love, possession, you can often, with all the specific details seen in the men and women, fall in love with each other. "
During courtship the two had not yet confident in each other, but each is trying to conquer another. Both are full of life, attractive, interesting, even beautiful - because the joy of life always makes a person beautiful. Both still do not have each other, hence, the energy of each of them is designed to be, that is, to give to another, and encourage him.
After the marriage situation is often radically different. The marriage contract gives each party the exclusive right to possession of the body, emotions and attention partner. Now, do not need anyone to win, because love has turned into something that a person has - in a kind of property.
Neither of the partners no longer has made efforts to be attractive and have the love, so the two begin to tease each other, and as a result of their beauty disappears. Both were disappointed and perplexed. Are they no longer are the people who were before? Not whether they were mistaken?
Typically, each of them trying to find the cause of such changes in their partner and feels betrayed. And none of them sees that they are not those which were in the period love each other, and that misconception, according to which love can be, has led them to the fact that they have ceased to love.
Now, rather than to love one another, they are content shared that have: money, social status, home, children. Thus, in some cases, a marriage based on love at first, turns into a peaceful co-ownership of property, a certain corporation, in which the selfishness of one connects to the selfishness of another to form something whole: "the family".
When a couple can not overcome the desire to revive the old feeling of love, the one or the other partner might be an illusion, as if a new partner (or partners) can satisfy his thirst. They feel that the only thing that they want to have - this is love.
But for them love is not an expression of their existence, a goddess, which they are eager to obey. Their love inevitably fails, because "love - the child of liberty" (as sung in the same old French song). And he who was fan of the goddess of love, is, after all, is so passive that turns into a sad, pest creature who had lost the remains of its former appeal.
All this does not mean that marriage can not be the best solution for two people loving each other. All the difficulty is not married, and in proprietary existential essence of both partners and, ultimately, society as a whole.
Proponents of such modern forms of life together as a group marriage, change of partner, group sex, etc., just trying to avoid the problems created for the existing difficulties in love, getting rid of boredom with the help of more and more incentives and seeking have as many "lovers" rather than to learn to love even one. "
So, people got used to treat another human being, as none of the stimulus generator, from which you can retrieve pleasant sensations and impressions. We are looking for new friends, are looking to get from someone new love!
That search leads us budorazhaschih incentives to seek these new relationships, to change the old partners, make new acquaintances intriguing.
I condemn those who are looking to meet new people, new budorazhaschie feelings or even change their spouse?
No. Why?
My friends! Let us treat other people, including my family, as free people. And if they are free men, they have a moral right to live as they want, and so, with whom they want and when you want.
Yes, it is unpleasant when it comes to break it with your friends you man. Even a very unpleasant!
However, it should be stronger than this and to recognize the freedom of short-man!
Why? Because there is no other choice.
Compete with a new partner senseless. A new acquaintance intrigues and excites the senses. You can not compete with the new relationships that set off the person you once loved, because these relations are of great power over him. It should be easy to accept this fact.
Of course, in the head is usually climb picturesque picture of what great and valuable relationship you have lost. At the head sounds wistful question: "Is all of this will no longer have?" It is depresses.
But my psychological analysis of situations involving the rupture of relations, shows that the primary mental pain is related to the denial is self-esteem, sense of their own importance. "Well, really I was (or was) worse than someone else?"
This impairment must be such as the "offset". But how?
New budorazhaschie dating, new communications, new business victories in his own case! Go to a disco or night meetings, pointriguyte and seduce someone, consider the next breakthrough in the cases often walk.
All you need to do - is to immediately re-raise their self-esteem!
That such would be my recommendation. There is a special psychological methods of raising self-esteem, but only for the participants "Strong personality".
However, this is, of course, it is important to understand why your former partner or spouse has decided to treason or breaking relationships. These findings, you should make your own. Typically, these findings relate to the nature of the relationship to their content and form of expression.
Think about it, so as not to repeat mistakes in the future, in your new relationship. And I strongly recommend not to stay long in solitude, and find new relationships.
As they sung in the Antonov? "New Event best - remedy for loneliness ... But that was, remember, do not forget"
And remember, please, that the more rapidly and fairytale start new love relationship, the more intensely they fade. This letter shows my readers, life observation, the psychological research.
Try to accept the fact that your loved is lost forever and never return. Not teshte a vain hope. Index - this is your own sense of strength and capacity. So, try to win the new battle!
So, dear readers, I am sure that the family as an institution of society in the twenty-first century will lose its significance. I anticipate this trend very clearly.
People do not want to communicate more debt and obligations, they want to try new, want to new conquests. And it is difficult to filled. Or is it possible?
And that you think about this?
HYPNOSIS
Posts
