In the practice of negotiation, there are two fundamental truths:
"Negotiations should be conscious AIM, at least the original!"
Awareness is necessary. The point is that if the purpose is not understood and not clearly articulated, there is no negotiation at all, but slovobludie. If your goal is clear, that in the negotiating process, you start to realize you are moving there or not there, and generally you start to monitor the negotiations, rather than your partner. Of course, you can not get to negotiate what you need, but you quickly realize this and will not waste time. Let me remind you that the negotiations are meaningful and deliberate purpose, but slovobludie accordingly does not have that. About this, I already wrote.
"Negotiations win before they started!"
You can now back closer to your opponent on the negotiations (or the client, if you like) to plunge into the guschu the negotiating process. Of course, I said that negotiations can only be learned in practice, often engaging in them, because the negotiations - that kind of training and fight together.
But no! Stop. Still early. And from what you actually will go for talks? What you have weapons? With drafts yes cavalry division in the tank? :)) To respect the courage of suicide bombers. But do not rush.
The main weapon that you may have - that belief in the correctness. You need to first convince themselves that the other needs that you are going to offer him. Only after that should convince him. Not vice versa!
So, whether you offer your interlocutor a product (or product, or yourself, or love, or work, or thinking) - it does not matter. It is important that you personally were convinced that it is necessary! And how do I do that? Yes is very simple: do not put a place of your opponent.
For example, you offer the customer a product for a certain price. And would you have bought it in its place? No, no, do not rush to answer ... Please be sincere and honest with himself (with itself it can be!). This is a very important thing. If you do not use this product, do not benefit from - you do not have the moral right "vparivat" to others. Strong success to you in this case not to be seen, believe me. Do you know how many such "vtirateley" walk on the planet? Millions!
Review your proposal with the position of the client (buyer, buddy, partner), you must practice constantly. You should think of your interlocutor, to understand how they think and develop this ability more and more. Otherwise, success will not be seen. Of course, you will make mistakes on top, it is inevitable. They say he thought so, but I think he thinks этак. But you can not stop this, gradually you will learn about the image of divine thoughts and desires of another. This should be pursued.
Another example: you offer a woman (man) love! Are you sure that it is necessary? Put yourself in their position and decide: What can you offer a woman (man)? Why should you take? Of course, not the fact that you are correctly identified. But salt is another. That you personally were convinced that it (him) This is!
Want your confidence - and nothing else! If it is - you will be successful negotiator. If not - alas! Now formulate this rule: "If you can not convince themselves that the other needs that you offer - you can not even start negotiations!"
So the first thing to convince yourself (and sincerely) - that your chances of success will increase many times.
When you convince yourself, you suddenly start to understand a lot of interesting things: that you can actually offer, what is your advantage where you are wrong, where you have to improve, etc. So you start working on myself, but it is very important!
Do you know why many do not convince yourself before you start negotiating? They are afraid to lose! :)) Because then will have something I need to develop themselves, and that they are not like them. They see themselves as always perfect (just like God), they say, why should they have to change anything. And if that does not get "the client is guilty, I just got stupid," and they are not to blame. No-no!
The next point, which is incredibly important in negotiations - it is ruthless. It is hard to overestimate for one simple reason: if you do not have a "cruelty" to the interlocutor, psychological hardness, then you have nothing. Then all your training is nothing.
Why? Because, to convince ourselves that the opponent must be exactly what you propose to him, many, as practice shows, are very weak in real conversation. We are sparing no man, or a client, we are afraid to violate his views. Yes, the way it is. Perhaps we are accustomed to take the views and positions the client as a sort of value, the value is almost inviolable. And afraid to disturb them. This is a false impression.
And in fact, and who told you that his (client's) views (tastes position) right? In any case, the objective of an effective negotiator attitudes client change. Otherwise, do not get, obviously.
Continue about ruthlessness. Proposed to define what it is? I have identified the ruthlessness of the willingness (or determination) to change the views of people on some things, even if this change of views of painful or unpleasant for humans. It must be! :)) But just a pity some people, why, they say, it unsettling?
Ruthlessness should be distinguished from the pressure. This is totally different things, and they should not be confused.
Pressure - is the emotional impact on the person using force suggestion, disregarding the views (values) of the person. As if pouring water into an already full jar. Your suggestion "implies" and not a fruit. However, sometimes gives, especially when using on children, but that, as this leads to talk on another occasion.
In order to negotiate from a position of ruthlessness we need to be very strongly convinced, first, that they are right, and secondly, that your rightness really helpful for the client. The position of ruthlessness, I would have described as "uncompromising." The compromise - which means everyone stayed at his or her opinion. That is, nothing has changed as a result of your negotiations. It suits you? If so, it is believed that the negotiations were not! :))
It is now clear that negotiation is a special, complex and very important work. It is impossible without the practice of conducting successful negotiations. And impossible to immediately combat the client outright their arguments. And if this happens, then, that you are lucky.
Hence the rule: "These negotiations require time (sometimes a lot of meetings), and they are the result of the actions that you want from the customer"
What does this mean? This means that if no action required by the client, the negotiations should continue. In general, no place to retreat behind Moscow! Again, the persistence (but not obstinacy) is also apparent ruthlessness.
Sometimes I am asked: "And if I know that another is not needed, and convince ourselves that does not work. A win negotiation is needed, what should I do?"
Have done nothing! Even if you can impose some (but not our) point of view of the client (or rather "vpihnut"), what you own will be pleasure from this? Probably not very good.
However, if you do not moralize, then, of course, you can persuade others that you do not think the right or necessary. But that is a skill. Perhaps it is only on the condition that the client psychologically weaker than you, trusting and even less experienced.
Typically, the views of (position, tastes) of the person the "right" simply because he personally believes in them.
For example, imagine that you are negotiating your employment with the employer. You believe that you have value to the company and are competent in your field. How can you not be convinced of this? But the employer is in doubt. His views need to change.
Typical resolution of this situation is that the applicant did not receive the work and the employer remains confident in the incompetence of the applicant. And all it would be in a different way, if either party has a different position ruthlessness. Or, the applicant would be left with the understanding that he is really quite competent, or the employer would have taken a job applicant.
Of course, you can call it, and resolve, but I like the term ruthlessness more, because it sends a stronger willingness to carefully and critically evaluate the expression interlocutor needed for successful resolution of negotiations.
Of course, the bend line of aggressive behavior, while ignoring the position of the client, bad and inefficient. However, we should note that I did it and did not connect with ruthlessness. Indeed, I specifically focus on this.
Pressure - is a forceful impact on the emotional side of man, deliberately disregarding the views of people. Or I may say so. Pressure - the emotional impact on the person using force suggestion, disregarding the views of people.
Another important point to ensure the impact of negotiations - is a complete Sincerely.
For example, I personally annoying people who constantly smile at all. They are not sincere! I'd like to say to the poor: "You that, in the head in childhood stuknuli, or you tales, and I am the first man, whom you saw?" Why smile all contractors, as ushly salesman? You just smile, smile, if sincere, and if there is no mood to smile, it is better to refrain from doing so.
Generally, a person may not be happy if he is not sincere. However, this is not enough to be happy.
By sincerity to strive for. When a person thinks that we should all smile a row, he dishonest, especially with himself. He feels the fact that some people do not want to smile, but he still is doing, and thus carries out attacks on a quiet himself. If you occasionally do so, even where there was neither, but if it becomes a habit and character traits?
Sincerity, I think, is to trust their inner feelings (intuition, if you want) in each situation. It is this sense and should be trusted.
For example, you can see the outside looks ugly person, but feel that it is good or interesting person. It should be sincere and tell him about it.
Other times you see a very nice person, but feel that it is ugly, feel a certain discomfort with it. Demonstrate its sincerity and uydite of such rights. The good is not, how much he was not outwardly attractive. Generally, I suggest that people feel, for each specific and not to use any methods of communication indiscriminately, endemic, indiscriminately.
The same is true in cases in the business. How attractive does not seem to any project or business that you propose, but if you feel that "something wrong", it is better to abstain! Whether this sense, and do not participate in this case.
If, say, you offer a business risk, it may be an unknown, perhaps even unpresentable, but you feel that something is there, it is better to settle. Trust feelings, but do not forget that, and analyze each situation.
So, if a person is pleasant to you, then feel free to join in any business with him. If a person unpleasant to you, then do not join with him in any case, the benefits of this will not only harm.
Sincerity or insincerity - it is a matter of trust in their feelings. I am sure that the sincerity of the constituent elements of proper communication is a very important thing. The point is that many people are torn between feelings, words and actions. All this, in fact, is not conducive to their welfare.
I would like to quote E. Shostroma:
Actual quote:
"Emotions are extremely dangerous, because the unspoken, do not find themselves out emotions that drive deep into the soul, which then overrides the human psyche, destroying it from within, and leads to distress and depression.
Mandatory requirement for those who want to overcome an arm - to understand where and how it manifests partial emotions, to determine - what is, and try to discern the real feelings that are hidden behind him. And then - not afraid to express basic feelings, either fear or resentment, anger or love. Goal-aktualizatora develop an ability to honestly express their true feelings.
"Do not be upset ... control yourself ... Take it easy" - constantly advises you paddle. Well, it is understandable. He also took advantage of these recommendations, and it is bad. To somehow cheer, and he wants to spoil your life.
In addition, he does not want to let you be angry at him. Only you will want to give, he puts a finger to her lips and said: "T-c-c-c, calmly, quietly, do not be upset." Do not believe it! Home Telehandler protection from the devastating impact - the ability to express their own feelings. "
Another important point to ensure the impact of negotiations - is a willingness to unexpected situations, the ability to be SPONTANEOUS!
Certainly try to apply some algorithm, or a reception at the talks - this is a big mistake. The algorithms do not work in the negotiations. You can schedule only the general direction of the conversation, its purpose and key arguments. Perhaps more than anything. Everything else depends on your buddy and your negotiating experience and personal qualities.
Actually, I always have a sense that in describing the negotiations, we miss something important. Much more important than the questions: What shall I say, how to say and in what sequence. All this, in fact, not crucial, all minor. The heart of the negotiations - this is what you give FEELINGS interlocutor, what the nature of the relationship with the building.
What are the feelings you are with your buddy and is there any? Indeed, we all know that most of the information is transmitted non-verbal communication. The heart of the negotiations - that the very nature of the relationship.
In this connection, let's talk a little about the emotions in negotiations.
We are all people, and people characterized by emotions. Emotions have always been, if you're not, of course, a corpse or a robot-terminator. I wrote that the largest part of the information is transmitted in non-verbal negotiation. It is also obvious, however, for some reason not for everyone. Thousands of people want to know all sorts of verbal communication techniques, while the more important question - how to influence the emotions - are not given due attention.
You can say, tip out the strongest arguments, but still hesitant to talk, hollow, and you no one will listen. On the other hand, we can not have any major arguments or do not have, but "conquer" the other side of the negotiations to their charm. And then in the bag, is not it?
I recall one case.
Now we have a citizen of the city of Caucasian ethnicity, not having not a penny in his pocket, no contacts. But frustrated him of this fact is not much. It's hard to say - specifically whether he appeared in our town or accidentally? Perhaps purposefully.
And it was so ... So he went immediately to get acquainted with local entrepreneurs average hands. Well, you know, those willing poluburzhuaznye that although entrepreneurs, but the typical "entity." So, after a brief acquaintance, during which our hero (this is the words of these entities) colorfully described the prospects for businesses in our city and its business prospects personally talent, encouraged by economic planner gave him space for offices, interest-free loans, and even foreign cars for lease.
Normally, yes? And you know these rigorous and distrustful entities, is not it? :)
The young man then in his office hired two young staff members who, after the story in one voice saying: "The Entrepreneur"! (Well, the colonel! Yes?)
Our hero even entered into any contract with any firms. In general, all participants in the stories were inspired and boldly looked into the future. As you can see, the young man took the credit, not a partner, but many and different. In general, everything in him not merely believe, but simply had no opportunity to question.
In short, one day, our hero put in "his" things foreign cars made in the debt of money, part of the goods, and with anyone without taking leave, went to an unknown destination ...
This case is even shown on local television. Newly prospective employee company sat in his office in front of a television camera, and could not believe that this happened. "Hero" has not yet been found.
This here a la Comrade Bender!
What says the case? The fact that if you do not know how to partner emotions (ie emotions, rather than dry arguments that anyone not interested in), you have virtually no chance. Naturally, this need to learn, and the first step in this is - the ability to express their feelings in the negotiations. To get started, it should learn, and then targeted to cause emotions in others. I believe that emotions in general can not be contained, both positive and negative.
By the way, about the described event.
Here's what fools constantly shouting: "I have no ties to start the business! I need a starting capital!" etc. What they can be answered? Fools call - offends! :))
Now listen to what I'll tell you! Successful negotiations can be built only if you can trigger with the other person interested in his personality. And why dub those who overmodest and is afraid to show themselves? Complete idiots, your personal opinion and behavior should not depend on them does.
Yes, it should be able to attract attention and make an impression. There is nothing wrong with that. Bad - it's when the reverse.
Dear readers, it is important to understand that in any negotiation there is a value of only whole personality negotiator. A person negotiator - this is his personal mental strength. Therefore, if a person wants to learn first-negotiate, it should develop itself as a personality, a strong, unique, capable of turning any life.
Do you think that the hardness and ruthlessness, even in the negotiations do not need? Then I would look at you, which you will lead the negotiations on the basis of the position of softness, when late-night encounter in my porch with a group of psychologically rastormozhennyh adolescents. On the other hand, how can we negotiate with the closest person to the position of ruthlessness?
It is clear that a strong personality to be able to communicate in different ways, in different ways to negotiate, depending on the specific situation. Is it not so?
Knowledge of specific methods of communication without the development of themselves as individuals do not have much meaning. Look around - who is most like the people? Anyone who knows how to speak. And who can say? Those who have something to say! Putin, Bush Zhirinovski, Solov'ev, Pozner, Zyuganov and others. Are they good negotiators? Yes. But first of all they are individuals. So is it worth to learn the techniques of negotiations? Yes, but only by developing a comprehensive, versatile.
Knowledge of negotiating techniques you need, but their knowledge should be based on a thorough understanding of the nature of human behavior. Otherwise you will have the tools, but will not know how and when it should be applied. In fact, you need to know only a few methods (they can be counted on the fingers), which is sufficient for the successful mastering of any life situation.
Many technology and training "impose" human pattern of behavior with which he then goes and plays them everywhere, like parrot. Technology zakreposchayut psyche, dishabituate rights to think independently and solve their problems. A strong personality - a person who bases his behavior on a deep knowledge of the laws of psychology, to understand their uses in my life meanings.
In conclusion, I would like to voice one important truth. Much more useful to play in the talks than to win! Negotiations can not be won, because these negotiations - this is not a fight, and cooperation ... Think about it. Moreover, losing, you learn something new, learn!
Furthermore. Life has shown that employees do not know how to conduct effective negotiations, otherwise they would have no employees, and businessmen. The only exception to this pattern - they are people who work for a percentage of sales. But life has shown that as soon as they are made visible progress in the negotiation case, then dropped out of their employers and start doing something.
Every business - it is primarily the negotiations, talks, talks ... employee is unable to negotiate and never learn, unless it starts to engage in either a self-employment, at your own risk, or sales for a percentage of revenues.
This is the reality of life, and I can not do anything. I repeat once again - to learn to negotiate, a business negotiation practice, practice, practice ... Most methods of negotiation, which I am aware, one-sided, ineffective and very difficult to digestibility.
I would like to emphasize that you really want to learn to negotiate, you should either try to create their own business or to find sales agents. Anything else would not be effective. Why? Because in this case, learn from your negotiations will depend on your immediate income.
Here's what I wanted to say to you, dear readers. So let some results. Marc:
- To take possession of the negotiations, a practice associated with the communication, which depends on your personal income;
- It is important to the overall understanding of psychology of personality, rather than private negotiation techniques. They did not decide;
- The negotiations can not win, you need to seek cooperation.
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