Have you ever wondered about who the strongest limit your behavior, your actions and intentions?
Do you think innocent people? Now that you have! They do not care deeply for your ambitions and intentions. As if the outside people to do nothing more than how to restrict you and repair your obstacles?
No, my dear. Worst impact on you, and limit your ambitions and intentions of the closest people to you.
Related people have a tremendous impact on us, as we often do not even think. But should we start doing something on notions of the people closest to us "is not", as we immediately starting to feel a strong psychological pressure on their part.
This is a very unpleasant and often makes people psychologically weak to give up their biggest and brightest intentions and initiatives.
"Do not suysya this ...", "is better to do so, as all normal people do ...", "You do not succeed ...", "Do not bullshit thought ...", "wacky - and enough ...", "Be like all ... "," Keep it safe ... "," Unlearning - go work, like all ... "," fell to the ground ... "
Such phrases, many have heard or hear in their homes - from the wives of their husbands, from their parents, their relatives. However, this rigid form of influence on us, but there is a more benign form.
"Honey, well, you also realize that you do not need ...", "Well, please do not suysya in this ...", "And this is just what you need?", "Well, what you do not have enough?", "It's dangerous I ask you - do not do this ... "," Look at you all is - where are you sueshsya? "...
So, what to do in such situations, if you feel that your loved ones in some form of pressure on you?
To answer this question, you need to understand the psychological reasons for this attitude of people close to your actions. What's happening in your soul, your loved ones? Why do they limit you? Why do you insert these sticks in the wheels?
Psychology provides an answer! There are several reasons for this attitude to your friends. Here are the most common:
1) The motive of precaution;
2) unconsciously envy (the fear of wrong, a threat to their own ego);
3) The fear of destroying relationships.
Let's look at all the three reasons given, and you, dear readers, it becomes clear what they mean.
Precautionary motive. Usually close to limit us, because it truly does not want to see we made mistakes that we do not "vlyapalis" in such trouble that themselves do not will be happy.
Sincere impulse closest people can understand. Such an impulse even considered a virtue. Here's the one who's worried for you, and you still are not glad! What is wrong here?
Indeed, there is nothing wrong there. But just in case, this precaution is best. And this happens not always. Quite often, concern and caution for a loved one is not an adequate measure, and as a result of this only hurts rather than helps.
Imagine that your close people in a circus tightrope (an example is ridiculous, right?) Do you ohaete and ahaete, as though he had not fallen!
Now that he is doing after this? Only fly upside down - all that he is doing, because excessive precaution prevents the very closest people to act!
Unconsciously envy. Well, think for yourself! Your family life to work as they were told the chiefs, and are given for this is that given.
And if you wishes to work as something in a different way, in new ways, in special.
"What if, God forbid, he still have something?!" - Flash "bad" thoughts in the subconscious of the relatives, there are, the truth, they never for anything not recognized prilyudno!
Or maybe the truth will turn out? What if we, the people have lived lives, will feel? Fools or what? Moron?
"No! There is no such! Let us much better-quality disturb him, repairing barriers and hurdles, psychological pressure and undermine the confidence in yourself! "- This is the course of their thoughts.
Dear readers, you probably read this and wonder: "How are they similar, can also think about who he is not stranger?"
Well, what I can tell you, my dear? The point is that these thoughts are envious of people in the subconscious, and to understand them, pull out "in the light of God", it is not so simply.
People are willing to deceive themselves. They can not even admit to themselves that envy fellow man!
But, my friends, envy! Envy and fear of being in the "cold", to be in a situation where their views on life and work will be "humiliated and oskobleny".
Even friends of envy, even as the envy! Children envy parents, children, parents, brother, brother ... But all this is just unconsciously to themselves.
By the way, is one of the first Bible stories? True, as one brother killed another out of jealousy. Remember Cain and Abel?
Believe me, dear readers, that what I say to you today about the nature of people - it's flowers.
And imagine that I would say that Mr. Freud wrote? Yes, yes, all about the famous "Oedipus complex", according to which every boy wants to unknowingly kill his father and lie in bed to his mother?
That is the same ... So what I say is still simple and affordable things! :)
Thus, the threat of his own Ego - the second cause of the critical and limiting the relationship to you of the closest people.
The fear of destroying relationships. This is a very interesting reason. I have it highlighted particular because of its mechanism is not as clear as the first two reasons.
Let me explain an example.
I advised a woman who constantly brawl with her husband, not letting him live quietly. After long discussions we finally then, "dokopalis" to true causes of her behavior.
She became aware of his deepest fears. It was this is - if it would calm her husband to live and he will be able to fully concentrate on the cases, then, having achieved tangible success and recognition, it is likely to throw it!
You see?
This often happens. Man seeks money and recognition, "goes to the people", and then looks around and understands so primitive and dependent people living next to him (wife, husband, relatives).
For understanding usually be a gap relationships.
Thus, it appears that this woman would be advantageous to limit how her husband, brawl, or in any other way to waste his energy so that it could not focus on any matters.
This psychological process is also typically has unknowingly to the participants. But not for a strongman!
Now you understand, dear readers, why this article called "I love you - but not only wishes for success"? Other loved ones so much we "love", that will do everything possible to ensure that we could not succeed.
And now summarize.
How to behave when you are trying to close permanently if you "disturb", "wash brains", "interference", "to teach the mind-mind"? What should I do?
It's easy! It should be well aware of what I just described to you. We need to find a main reason that forces you to limit your relatives. Then gently vocalize them that cause their behavior and to follow that they will occur.
Usually very least, you can count - is that your loved ones is simply otstanut you. Well, the maximum - they shift their attitude to you, give you a "green light", and even will help you.
But to get the maximum, it should be good to try!
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