This article is about how to make words alive.
Have you watch performances of good speakers? What are their strengths and how they are able to engage in his speech to our attention? It is in their voice that something that "presents their words on a plate and make them" tasty ". In this article I want to tell you about those "Special", which are added in his speech, giving it a "taste".
You probably already guessed that these "spices" are the emotions and ... something else that is always present in our words. But, please, please, do not rush. In order to understand the subtleties, let us go in order and start with "dishes". Yes NLPery forgive me, but the dishes, "I call that the NLP is called smart word" meta-message. " Content is meta-messages may be as emotion, and any "parallel" meaning that we always pass along with the basic meaning.
How to see the meta-message in the speech
Meta-communication (English meta-message - a message that contains a description of other messages) in NLP refers to as a second level of meaning - a meta-communication, passing, usually in non-verbal level. If you look at the live speech of any person through the filter of "what he thinks about that he said?", Then in most cases, you will almost immediately "find" the answer. How do you do it? Intuitively shifted the focus of attention on non-verbal expressions and emotions of the speaker, and emotion in the dynamics are always very informative. Even in the photo, you can take the emotional message of rights expressed in the smile (or lack thereof), if the characteristic details of facial expressions emerge in the big picture.
When we look or listen to speech rights a long time (5-15 minutes is sufficient, depending on subject and professional speaker), then at some point, you can see (hear, or feel) that all his words on the emotional level passes a a meta-message. This may be the issue, approval, call for something, or something else. Just try to do this, for example, looking for any transfer of the TV, where people play themselves (the film is less than ideal, as there are playing the role of man), and you'll see how it's easy - notice the meta-message. In fact, you do not even necessarily understand the language of the speaker.
A good example of congruence meta-messages (well agreed with the speech, and beautifully arranged it), I think, maybe Steve Dzhobs. It does not matter now, he says, pay attention - as. Here are some links: presentation of iphone (Eng.), three stories for graduates (English) and translation (for the curious)
With some training (if the communication constitutes your professional interest, you particularly like it) you can quickly learn to see a much broader range of meta-messages.
How to train? Very simple. All you need to do is three basic steps that you can practice on a course of everyday life.
Management of meta-messages.
Step One. Start to see the meta-message of each phrase.
Remove the host from the head all the prejudices about the man, whose meta-messages you want to see, to avoid distortion. For simplicity, you can start with the observation of those whom you do not know and can not even refer to any character. Even easier - look at the speakers, speaking in an unknown language to you. And listening to them, just ask yourself about each speaker's words: "that he thinks that he said?"
When will feel that this is easy and automatic, you can gradually move on to the monitoring of the meta-message more familiar to you people: partners, bosses, colleagues, friends and family .... Oh, how many discoveries you wonders ...! :) Question: "people spoke the truth or lie" no longer itself, as you start to see much more!
Step Two. Four types of meta-messages.
Extend the range of filters and to the question "that he thinks that he said?" add three additional types of questions:
- What he thinks about those who he said?
- What he thinks about himself?
- What you say of his emotions? As the meaning of his intonation could express words?
Then again, you make a lot of discoveries about the people! The only request - be compassionate to people and not judge them down. They are some might not know about yourself that you now know about them (by the always visible). And by the way, do not need them on this report if they have to do - perhaps they do not want to hear it from you.
... But if you suddenly notice that the range of genuinely admires somebody's meta-message, then you have the opportunity to make a man a compliment from the heart. Listen to me, and when the feel that this is an opportune moment, and for the person that would be comfortable, tell him that you saw (heard or felt) for his words. And when you do so, you get exactly the same gift - a piece of his experience will be yours.
Step Three. Manage your meta-messages.
This is the master level, and it may not be very simple, but perhaps it will allow you to make a real breakthrough.
Begin to keep its meta-messages. Ask yourself the same four questions yourself, when communicating with people in casual conversation, when preparing an important report or presentation, when planning what and how to say in the negotiations. When the main question (content) is already prepared, or have a clear idea about what it will add to the desired "meta-sense" to reinforce what you want to say, or indicate additional meaning.
1. Define clearly what you want to bring your meta-messages (all 4 types). To get started, it is better to write or even to just say out loud - this will exclude errors and make the meta-message clearer. (30 seconds - 1 minute).
2. Play this movie in an accelerated version of the first person with the transfer of meta-messages (30 seconds - 1 minute).
3. Then look at it as a spectator-expert through the filter of four issues, and note that the meta-message that you broadcast. Must Praise yourself for the meta-message that you get to play exactly, or just good. (30 seconds - 1 minute).
4. If there is a meta-messages that need to be improved to provide a director. Create a setting in which you see yourself successfully transmitting these meta-messages. Suppose that an actor (you are on stage), before the statement is literally say out loud that the meta-message that he wants to convey in his speech and then go on stage and play them! (1-2 minutes)
5. Then live the film from the first person, like a real actor, leaving your character in make-up room and totally part of the role of all of its substance. If you want, let me at the rehearsal to be even a little grotesque, and let Stanislavsky, sitting in an empty room, yells to you "I believe!" (30 seconds - 1 minute).
And if you spent hours to make a good report, allow me to invest another five minutes in the attempt to make it good "meta-package." And you will be surprised, seeing as even a cursory five-point performance in the times will improve the perception of all of your report and you, as speaker.
The emotional range of art and be on the floor a step ahead. "
Interestingly, the people who we are pleased, not necessarily made a deep mind, erudirovannostyu or wisdom. They are simply pleasant to communicate. And if you look at them through the filter of emotion, we see them reflected the best of himself. Here in what sense ....
If we take any emotion scale (from negative to positive), then, in the presence of internal honesty, we can accurately find it its emotional range.
Approximate scale of emotions
The following schedule is approximate and was created by me, as a product of synthesis of different emotional scales, in which positive and negative branches of equal length. Read more pleasant scale upwards.
- Happiness, bliss
- Joy
- Respect, admiration, respect
- Interest
- Adoption of the recognition of
- Optimism
- Credibility
- Triumph
= Indifference
- Despite
- Anger
- Hatred
- Grievances
- Fear, anxiety
- Regret
- Despair, apathy
- Guilt, shame
Those people who correspond with us on an emotional range and we are comfortable and pleasant people. Communicate with them gives us a feeling of pleasure and comfort, because the emotional exchange it happens to "a wave" - we give and receive something that is natural for us to give and receive pleasure.
Is important, of course, and a balance of temperament, as well as temperament - is "intensity" of emotional exchange (which we are capable of, and which is sufficient for us to peer sharing). This is how "thick pipes", which is the transfer of matter - the intensity should be such as to keep enough to send the "head" and, at the same time, not too high, that "power flows" to be "comfortable for the pipe."
When a person is on the scale a little bit above our inherent emotional range (slightly more positive), we are starting to reach it. This is because when a "high" (high on this scale) emotions in the brain devoted more endorfinov, and physiologically they are more pleasant. Having these emotions, a person begins to feel more relaxed in this state it neokorteks (responsible for higher nervous activity) starts to work better and it becomes much easier to think and find the interesting creative solutions. Having such a mental recovery, the person begins to feel more pleasure and psychologically.
However, emotions, habits, and this is due to the physiological mechanism - peptide receptor cells, which are molecules of emotion. These receptors are tuned to specific molecules of emotion, and, for the most part, only those emotions, they spend most of their time to support us the most habitual emotional background. Therefore, people can not instantly adjust to the other, is not characteristic of him in the normal state of the level of emotion, even if it is more pleasant and attractive. It will take time for adjustment - that is for "training" the brain a better feel new emotions, through the emergence of a new cell peptide receptors.
And often that's why the best leader is not someone who is able to "fly higher feelings," and not the one who wiser, smarter and speaks logically and folding (although it's certainly important). Most captures the attention of listeners all one who translates them to those of meta-messages that they want to hear (all four types), being only half a step ahead of them. This allows him to be ahead, and at the same time remain affordable audience remained for the most part in their "wavelength."
How to speak from the heart.
There is a trick that allows you to speak, so that is what happens between you and your audience was with him a unique, intimate experience of true love. Even when you are just talking and maybe doing it with the huge distances or TV, and do not see their eyes, but they did not see you .... Before you begin to talk, think about what a truly valuable, you would like to share it with those people in that time. Just think about it and tell yourself that you intend to do so, and there is no need to express it, or as a hint to it. And then start talking and keep the state of "flow", trusting your unconscious. When you are truly connected with their values, you become a "conduit" through which they come to the people.
Living and beautiful speeches you!
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