The difference vyskourovnevoy manipulation of low-level, if briefly, as follows. Low-level manipulation operates at the level of behavior - this is what we call the "make do". High level operates at the level of information, managing options, rules, objectives and priorities. More information about the hierarchy of kinds of manipulations described in the article "Logical levels of psychological pressure."
By whose rules of play?
- Let's play in one game? I will sell you your cell phone, and if I'm selling it to you, then I won, but if not - then you win.
- Come on.
- Here's my phone. Buy it from me for $ 1000.
- I do not want, thank you.
- Okay, you have won. According to the rules of our game, the winner pays a hundred dollars loser. With you one hundred dollars.
- ... Okay. But you know, on Fridays at our company, this rule does not apply. ... Oh, today was Friday! So I will not be.
Told me this story from the life of my colleague, the trainer of NLP - Joseph Zhitlovsky. When he offered to play the game, he still did not know what will happen next, but when it became clear that "the rules", he "fell" to one hundred dollars, he did not argue - this is not characteristic of a good coach. He acted on NLPerski flexible: if there is a rule that in the course of the game, you can add other rules, then why would they not take?
This game is overdone farcical demonstration of how management works in the context of life. Everyone who plays in the game (gambling, social, political, managerial, and any others) can be attributed to one of two categories: those who play by the rules (even if they violate them) and their sets. What do you think, who usually wins? ... No, those who played, of course, also benefited, but strictly within the rules.
There are rules that are set in certain contexts - is a treaty, statutes, user agreements, etc. And what determines the rules by which we operate in the general context of our lives? Of course, we do. However, if more precise, our beliefs. For example, if a person is convinced that "Japanese cars better than European, because ... (anything), then, when buying a car, he is likely to prefer Japanese cars. Similarly, there are our beliefs in the choice of work partners, investing money, etc.
But the number of convictions it defines a thing in life, let us at the minute think that it is and where they come from?
How are beliefs.
The belief that language (ie, expressed in language) to learn from experience that defines his relationship (ie, what we consider proper, necessary, important, useful, etc.) so that we know. This is where simple:) And thanks to this linguistically expressed knowledge, we can gather information, and we do not have to check it each time again. For example:
The child did not believe parents and dokosnulsya to the iron surface iron, when he was included in the outlet. After that the child has formed two persistent beliefs. First, that iron does not need to touch to iron. " And second, that "the Pope with his mother tell the truth."
At about the same, we are trained to believe in the beliefs of others.
... But 30 years later, the same people listening to dad, mother, businessman, who said: "Do not vozis you with these students and their money to pay," - and over that belief, because somewhere inside himself was well aware : "Mother and Dad tell the truth." And a year later it turns out that his friend did was a tinker with the students, and now has a good business in the staffing market. ... Not sostykovka left. And a man is formed "amendment" to the deep: "Dad was telling the truth, but can also make mistakes." The updated belief is there, but business is already gone.
So beliefs are formed by natural means, and those who still looks at life only at the level of behavior (such as: "What do I do?" Or "What?"), There will always be guided and their strange beliefs.
So what do I do? What to do? How to obtain the freedom of opinion, but better - control over them? I can suggest a simple 2-step strategy.
Management beliefs.
Step 1-st. Learning to notice what your beliefs behind the action. There are simple test questions: "Why should I do?" and "Why did I do?". If the answer you are not satisfied, you do not have to. But before the surrender, it is better to ask ourselves another question: "Do not I lose something, if you do not do it?", So just in case;)
Step 2-y. Learning to overlook beliefs, begin to manage them - that is unnecessary to modify and create necessary.
How to do it, to describe in the article, unfortunately, is impossible. Yes, and somebody would not - for a good education you need to escort the coach. But acquaint you with the basic principles I can. So ...
1. Persuading sets the context or framework for any action.
If people believe something (or something knows), then in each of his action, he will unconsciously seek to confirm this.
If you know that cats love Viskas "then every time your cat eats it, you'll see that it does so with pleasure. Of course, she will eat it with pleasure! She also wants to have! But should you close to a piece of fresh meat ...
If you believe that "good things always are expensive, but for you it is very important to the quality, you will always buy expensive things in the expensive stores, even if it hurts the pocket. But if you have the belief that "quality can be affordable, then over time you put the head of the information about when the sales are and what stores prices lower. However, if you will be to consider that the "self-respecting people in sales do not dress", then this information will not help you.
2. There is no right of opinion. Any belief can be true and not true at the same time.
Multifaceted and real world experience is far more relationships than can be described linguistically. Therefore, any belief depends on the context and other conditions.
Faithfulness persuasion "Many people think good" depends directly on what you think. Or, when you think.
3. Each belief exists in the context of other beliefs.
Managing context in which there is a conviction, you control the value of this belief.
- "Gateway bad." - But if you're in enemy captivity, it has a lot of people for whom this will be good.
- "Speak the truth to friends - good." - But if the truth is obvious, is not pleasant, and you are requested to do so ...
- "Actionable information relevant inquiry is not a lot happens." - Say it is frozen computer ...
And summing up the article, I would like to emphasize that our freedom is defined only choice available to us, a choice - that we know, and so in that of the well-known, we believe. So if you want to have more freedom (or higher power) to communicate with people, do not waste your strength on the controversy and confrontation. Be the above - just to manage information (and its "correct") in their minds and the minds of others.
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