I have a friend of the psychiatrist - one of the most bombastic of the planet. He called me and said he wanted to bring me a client, as a colleague told him that I worked with patients enuresis. Patients enuresis - these are people who, seeing a toilet, do not want to go there, but, knowing that somewhere there are a number of toilet, want to help. This is described in the MPA 1 and MPA 2 psychiatric yearbooks each year, becoming thicker as each year the number of mental disorders is increasing. In one of the 4 MPA scientists psychiatrists called it the norm. These meals do not cook. Whatever you do, these psychiatrists only significantly raised eyebrows, as if the symptoms are getting worse. In any case, the psychiatrist said that he does not believe that, without special education and psychoanalysis someone may cause the patients any many changes. Nevertheless, he was ready to look at all without prejudice, to come with her two counterparts, each of which was to bring the patient, graciously deign to look at my work methods.
I asked:
- Does this mean that you do not pay me?
To which they replied:
- We do not think you should work permit, and if you have any license?
I said:
- I 'm not flying does not return anything broken. I have educated people. But it also has a strange feature - it was acting. I know that I can do and what not. That is the difference. And if something I can not do, at least I know how can I find a way out of the situation. And you're trying to understand schizophrenic, but they simply do not know what constitutes their disease. They would not have been schizophrenic, if aware, do not be like them.
Overall, one psychiatrist gave me patient, the absolute shizofrenichku, who did not know how to distinguish reality from their imaginations. The doctor even told me about it. I replied:
- Yes, Mr.? And how do you distinguish reality from fantasy?
- What do you mean? - He asked.
Then I asked shizofrenichki:
- How you got here?
- By car - she said. They came from Michigan to California. It was not just a psychiatrist and another psychiatrist and cheap.
Her parents were friends of the doctor, they were in despair, they brought her from the hospital across the country. He thought that this would give him time and opportunity to experience the therapeutic methods, which she did not know. According to her, he had all this time talking with her about her past
Then I asked her:
- Imagine now that you came from Michigan to California. Create it now. You can imagine how you are flying with him on a plane to California?
- Yes, - she said. - Yes, we have arrived, arrived here.
- And, maybe, you come by car?
- Yes, come!
- Or Have Arrived?
- Yes, Have Arrived! - And here she zarevela, because it is very frightened her, she did not know how it really is.
I asked the doctor:
- Can you imagine that arrived here by plane?
- Of course.
- And you know how it really?
- Of course!
- But where, you know?
- What I pofantaziroval how separated from reality.
We pereglyanulis with a girl.
- What? - She asked.
She did not understand what we are talking about.
- How is it fenced?
- Thus, the fence a little here about the thickness, and all the fantasies are for the fence. And so we can distinguish where fantasy and reality where. Otherwise, you can go mad.
Then, I quietly told the doctor:
- On this, my work has been completed.
She asked me:
- Is it possible that the fence is already the past?
- Of course. And if you separate something extra and will be the real thing fantasy that with the fact?
- I know that my parents are alive, but I remember how they killed
- Okay. Remember how they killed, and the garden is a memory. And placed it Mickey Mouse, Guffi, Donald Daqa, other characters that you know that it's simply ridiculous. There is nothing more absurd than to imagine that Duffy Duck killed someone. A cat Wester kept thy mother, as he choked her. ...
All these methods seem pointless, but strangely enough, they work. This woman was in psihlechebnitse for 17 years. Why was it spent on his life, when all she needed - it is an imaginary box and several multyashek! Ask me now, who among us the devil - I, or are they? I do not pump up the people with medicines. Of course, I have time to try to pripugnut all the dirt that accumulated in them, but only in order to attract their attention.
And the psychiatrist, which led me sick enuresis was the most arrogant kind of what I have seen in my life. He told the patient: "Sit down!"
He asked:
- And there is a toilet?
To which I immediately replied:
- No! There is a water closet from the outside! - And I then lived in the mountains, at Mount St. Chris, I am forced to go there at night in the dark - it is somewhere down here, in the yards dvuhstah on dirty way!
And there was really closet, which has some thirty years, no one enjoys.
- No toilet? - He asked.
- No! - I answered, and so I recorded in his mind the idea.
- Well, is it now except for this - and I opened the door to the bathroom. He sighed with relief, and in his mind and recorded it. Then I closed the door and went away. Then he asked:
- Oh, and it is possible to me in a toilet?
I opened the door, and he said he did not need it. I closed the door, and again he wanted the toilet. Then I said to him:
- Dude, go-ka with me, I'll give you something.
I called a psychiatrist and told him:
- When I will give you a sign, opening and closing the door.
And when he opened the door to the sign, I squeezed a patient knee, and said loudly:
- Toilet - should be signed!
I then gave a sign to close the door and had already made a hush:
- No toilet - no need to write.
And so I did a few times. And then I said to him:
- And now I must tell you that this is not a real toilet. This is just an illusion. There is a pipeline, but it is not water, it's not working.
Then he said:
- Well, no, I do not need so much, I wait.
The psychiatrist turned to me and asked suspicious:
- It is that treatment?
- Yes, - I answered, - only we call it training. Toilet - you signed, there was no toilet - no need to write, in my opinion, everything is very simple. We are all learning how to automatically: every morning you go to the bathroom, take your toothbrush and start to clean teeth. Or, you can not do this? After all, if you did this morning, you were not such a need to clean your teeth. But we learn to do things automatically that we do not want every time to think about why we do it. Otherwise one day you find that sitting on the wet, and having a hand on the pants say: "No wonder I was so uncomfortable to sit!" You then need to keep your toothbrush in a different place. No you not borrow a toothbrush. I understand that all this sounds mad, but it's not crazy that people are doing.
I turned to him:
- Now imagine that you are in a worse situation, and there are no toilets around.
- Well, then I will have to wait.
- Excellent! - I said and asked the psychiatrist - well, how are you?
He replied:
- Can my toilet?
- But it's not working!
- Lord, but to me it's true you need the toilet!
I said:
- No, kidding, it works.
To which he replied:
- All, I do not want to.
I asked:
- You that, too, a fan? I read about these symptoms in your book there and reads. So if you read it, you have been warned. To write or not write, that's the answer. Now enuretika everything is fine, but a psychiatrist is still the problem. It may be a member of the American Psychiatric Association, but it is his problem. He still calls me and asks:
- When you stop swearing at me?
- When you stop to behave in idiotic. Before you write research papers, it is better to learn to write.
In my opinion, the fact that he treated people badly, turned against him. When he came to me for the first time, he had not been so bad, but have said:
-These people I am out a!
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