Talking about the power of speech, we often do not remember the nonverbal side of communication. And in some situations, posture, gestures and intonation of the other person to vote to decide whether the communication will take place at all, and how it will go. Story that happened to one man, a vivid example. He was familiar with NLP, and noticed some characteristic details. I tried to convey the history, so that you too can notice them.
- You are interested in printing?
I stopped.
Frankly, I do not even examined this stand, and was thinking just by looking through it. At this point I have probrodil two hours on the exhibition and selected heels printers with whom we will cooperate, so now I am only interested in coffee.
- No, thanks.
Thick pack promotional samples in my hands did not confirm my words. A young man defiantly kept her sight.
- Then I let you just give the folder that you have been more convenient to store the samples.
It was a pleasure. I agreed and walked over to the stand. Consultant for a moment had disappeared at the desk, and coming out with a folder with a friendly smile, handed it to me.
- Hold!
I was immediately removed to the promotional samples, but realized that my hand is missing.
- Come on, I'll help you.
He elegantly revealed to the folder at the same time being on the left side, shoulder to shoulder with me, and gently framed her under my hand with samples. I just have Decompress fingers. For a moment it seemed to me that this is the most convenient folder in the world.
He carefully closed the folder with samples, and by continuing to stand on my left shoulder, turned and found a folder on the table at the back side.
- This is the pricing for our services. Everything is there. - I just tilt the head Looking at numbers, and he mechanically did the same.
- A sample from this folder, we just perform for you in the best quality. - With these words he gently, like a very expensive thing, handed me a folder. Mechanically, I just took her gently.
- A period of time? - I asked, showing the intonation that the last question.
- Our time frame you will be pleasantly surprise. Be confident. - Put it a point in his proposal the same intonation. And once again smiled at the friendly goodbye.
Until I came to the exit from the exhibition, I have several times tried to stop konsultatny about printing stands, holding the me their flyers and shouting something. But, whether they were outside of my reality, whether a closed folder silently saying "enough", or something else ...
A week later my boss called and said that we urgently need three hundred thousand leaflets for promotion, dates of which have already been appointed, and he wants me to hear that the booklets will be. Going to my office, I am out a folder with the exhibition and opened it. Of the total, which promised to printing, I now need only one - the guarantee that the materials will be ready just in time. Of course, this promise to all and always, but I am not the first time working with printers. The only criterion for all the guarantees for me was my confidence in the company. And if to be exact - for its representative.
I remembered only one person with whom communication has caused a feeling of comfort and a sense of inexplicable logic, but a deep trust in him. I closed the folder and changed it to read the phone number.
As you can see, in the history of the consultants did not have the opportunity to talk with the man to persuade him to become a client. Yes it is not necessary. He knew exactly what he wanted, how to achieve this and not doing anything extra. What is the secret of his success? Let us explain in detail.
He managed a few seconds to join reality and remain a part of his memory. What is he to do? Only one. He created high-quality repeat.
Repeat - it is quite NLPersky term. Denotes the state of unconsciousness, he trust that connects people through a single system. In other words, repeat creates a sort of communion between people that make their relationship more close and trust in the unconscious level. Remember, like Mowgli was: "We are with you one blood!" Repeat has the same idea, only at the level of neuro-neosoznavaemyh processes.
Repeat is not something artificial. This is a natural psychological mechanism svoysvenny to all living beings, which they know who "her" and who "was not his." All people (and animals) polzueyutsya them quite easily and naturally at the level of instinct. What made the PNL in this regard because it has allowed a man to understand this mechanism, and to learn to manage them so that you can very quickly become her with anyone.
In Eriksonovskom hypnosis, this mechanism is called "adherence to the reality of the customer", or "joining."
In all the techniques of NLP is to repeat step number one. It is natural, because without the establishment of contact and confidence you simply can not continue to work with people. Any good communications are exactly the same. So if somewhere there was misunderstanding or tension, the first thing to check is lost Do not repeat. And if it is not good enough, you can simply enhance and understanding will come by itself.
And in areas such as business communication and seduction, is to repeat any one of the key "tools" for success. However, perhaps you have already learned from the example. So how is repeat? By creating a such a rapid and profound adherence to the realities of the client?
The first thing necessary to repeat, it is human attention. If you have not received the attention of people at least for a moment, all your actions will be by his reality nothing more than background noise. In this example, the consultant of its first intended only to read that. And as soon as he reached her, and the attention of the customer for a moment appeared to him, he took advantage of the second principle repeat.
The second principle of quality repeat, this is the direction of attention to what is reality for the client and the sincere part in this.
Remember, the consultant kept defiantly look at a thick stack of advertising samples in the hands of the customer, showing that he sees his "problem", and immediately offered him a solution to this problem. " Rather than propose something, he just adjusted to what was the client, to its surroundings.
But, in fact, at the same stage, the consultant has fulfilled a third principle of quality repeat. Faced denial ( "No, thanks"), he did not fight with him, and gently disposed his proposal, beginning with the word "if." No, so no, what problems, but let's just go with the other side.
Very often repeat tear when a conflict, and neither party shall seek to reach agreement. Repeat, this is a direction of movement of several people. Therefore, mutual consent, the very nature of this repeat.
The fourth principle repeat, the most important. Without the first three, it certainly can not exist, but it is unconscious confidence. This is the principle of similarity, or similarity.
When the consultant was left of the client's shoulder to shoulder with him and framed him by the hand of a folder, it might seem that the main goal, which he pursued, it is the creation of comfort for the client. This objective was, of course, but the main purpose was different. This tuning.
The consultant was in the same position as the client, holding their hands in the same position, and when the client is a little head tilt, Looking at the figures, the consultant "mechanically" did the same.
Thus the consultant has coincided with a client on the posture, gestures and the rhythm of movements, as if revealing unconscious client "I am the same as you, I understand you." Such convergence at the level of non-verbal components and cause a feeling of "its".
Only this should be not a single hit, while the "likeness", continuing throughout the communication.
Match posture, gestures, facial expressions, movements and rhythm until the intonation of voice, created in our feeling that this man is the same as we are. But do not confuse this method with a full "otzerkalivaniem" (which is not so well), and even more so with the mimicking that "peredergivaet" human behavior. Similarity means "almost."
When the repeat becomes sufficiently great, there are unconscious of the back of the adjustment - it is conducting. Adjustment and maintenance, as the two sides of one coin - if someone has one, the second at this point adapts, and vice versa. Remember, as a consultant, gently stretched the client folder, and the customer automatically as gently took her? His unconscious is automatically repeated behavioral style action consultant. At this point, a show that works and repeat in the opposite direction - unconscious client beginning to adjust itself, without conscious involvement. Now we can conclude that the goal has been achieved, although this could happen, and even earlier.
And there is another principle of the fifth repeat. This is a positive condition. If to repeat the behavioral characteristics are transferred automatically and unconsciously, the state and podavno. And, as you might think, whether the unconscious person wants to adjust to the state, which is worse than his own? Of course not! And, consequently, on the contrary, be pleased to adjusted to the state, which is better for yourself and feel better, too.
It is for this consultant twice a friendly smile, a kind smile otmarkirovav critical points of communication. This allowed him to refer the client to a positive state, connecting it with the donation of a folder with a. And this is reinforced a sense of confidence, and helped the client in a week to remember the consultant is better than everyone else. People like positive, there is nothing to be done ...
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